Eye’s Down

Bingo, an activity undertook as part of the bucket list, did not disappoint! Who knew the most popular OAP sport would provide such excitement and absolute complete panic! Walking into a hall  with my three fellow bandits, we took a plunge into the unknown and decreased the average age by at least twenty years.

Petrified we had sat in a regulars seat and were about to get turfed out of our new patch by a shove in the back from a walking stick. We quickly came to understand the bingo lingo of ‘sweating’, not because we were anywhere near winning, but because we actually had no clue what the hell was going on. After about fifteen minutes into the session and three games deep we had cracked it, keep up, stay shh and cross your fingers. Hooked!

The excitement when you are sat staring at your card and there is only one number left, is actually, well, indescribable. Tuesday evenings in the bingo hall, are crawling with professionals, in fact, beyond that experts, we didn’t stand a chance! But the time we spent in there was hilarious and actually unforgettable, its easy to see how people become addicted.

Also who knew, when going to bingo there is no guarantee that your actually going to win. Although there was one benefit to this, there was no reason to shout, the prospect of shouting ‘bingo’, loud in a large room full of die hard bingo rockers was one that sent shivers up my spine!

I do now, however, feel like I have had sufficient practice to look forward to a life of gambling post 80.

So watch out, Gala Byker, we will be back, dabbers in hand!


Pail Plan, Whey Aye Man!

As you can tell I ain’t taking the whole leaving Newcastle thing wholly in my stride, the idea of leaving my stomping ground and the lovely people I associate with it behind is contributing to a developing fear of the unknown. So as the big move South was confirmed, the ‘Bucket List Bandits’ were born.

Bucket ListMy friends, well they had no choice in the matter, a list, which was ever-growing was to be completed before I parted ways with the Toon. Acting as a highlight reel of just what is on offer, the list became the device which enabled weekly time to be set aside for adventure, overcoming the group’s inability to make decisions. Aims and ambitions not written down are solely just wishes, and wishes, well don’t get me started I am still waiting for the unicorn that my 6th birthday extinguished candles promised me. Providing us with ambition and focus the list has cemented me with precious memories and experiences of my last few months in Newcastle. As well making it completely acceptable to spam pal’s with multiple messages (no guilt tripping of course) regarding meeting up, because we have to do it, it’s on the list, there is no possible satisfactory excuses!!

It soon became apparent that it wasn’t what was written on the list that was of high importance, but it was the how things were completed that provided fulfilment. Which was ultimately dependent upon those that I had shared the experiences with, sharing experiences with my three fellow bandits has allowed for a collection of laughs and smiles. Spending time together in turn has strengthened friendships and made the prospect of moving that ever bit harder. So staying for that extra drink on a school night and missing the last metro home was completely worth it.

Building a collection of memories the ‘Bucket List’ has contributed to the creation of a living legacy, that can be remembered, revisited and relived as a collective group in the future. Which provides validation to bombard the Bandit’s with multiple messages about the numerous reunions I have pre-planned for the remainder of forever!

Clumsiness – My Personal Art Form

The misfortune of being clumsy, is often interoperated as act, a thing people often believe is displayed for comedic effect. Well perhaps in some people’s cases it may be! However if you are unfortunate enough to have inherited the curse of an inherent lack of coordination, simple tasks create a battlefield for achieving embarrassment avoidance. As trust me, spilling a glass of red wine, sober, over a white dress is not something I intentionally wish to endure, ever again!


Daily life acts as a playing field that facilitates clumsiness. Throughout my time as a student it has been acceptable to wear the same dress for a week, even though it fell victim to Monday night’s spag bol, purely because it is navy blue and you can hardly notice the stain. However as I enter into the world of the ‘young professional’, embarrassing myself daily, in the workplace is not a viable option for success. Therefore the forthcoming summer months provide me time to train and practice overcoming an ever growing list of daily challenges.

For starters, the high pitched voice and the ability to ooze social awkwardness, paired with clumsiness, often leads to people believing that your drunk when stone cold sober. Trust me spilling things when drunk is a whole different game, I mean you are at least 80% more likely to get away with it. Holding every drink as if it was a two handed baby cup, is the safest bet to avoiding spillages. As clumsiness takes butter fingers to a whole new level! Whoever invented the five second rule, I salute you!

The lack of controllability in regards to limbs, put’s not only you, but your friends and any surrounding miscellaneous objects at risk! Stemming from the un-functional relationship between hand and eye, is the misfortune of making poor reaction decisions. I mean it is forever engraved into life biography that the first ever goal I scored in a match for the university’s water polo team was an own one! Mishaps such as this have led to the word sorry, becoming the most heavily used in my vocabulary.

When walking along the street it is of guarantee that any small crack, nook or cranny will be found by a pair of size 6, flat feet. Highly increasing the probability of an unexpected trip, I mean the amount of postcards I have sent from the pavements of Newcastle has hit double figures (at least).

In order to successfully avoid making a fool of myself on a daily basis, I conclude that I need to master the art of recovery. Attempting to subtly recover the highly embarrassing clumsy act just performed in it’s self is an art form. Its all in the face, it is highly likely, that my own facial expressions highlight further the clumsy mishap that has just occurred. Therefore here is to a summer of practicing the poker face and pretending that nothing ever happened.

But aside from the embarrassment, the shame and the bruises, being clumsy causes, your friends always have that option of laughing at you as well as with you! Creating those situations and contributing to the memories that will never be forgotten.
So cheers for one thing clumsiness, providing laughs that make stomachs hurt!

Newcastle, It’s Been Pure ‘Bobby Dazzlin’

I divvin’ want to gan!
(Newcastle, It’s Been Amazing, I don’t want to go)

Well, for the past five years the ‘toon’ has significantly contributed to the extension of my double chin, a penny-less purse at the expense of copious amounts of Sambuca shots and provided a ‘pure belta’ (fantastic) experience.

The fact that as of yesterday I can no longer call myself a student, absolutely bloody terrifies me! I mean apart from the fact that I cant justify my next Topshop purchase because students get an extra 10% off for a limited period only, I have to pack my life up into boxes and face the reality of real life.

Who knew it was possible to acquire so many things! Being ruthless when packing, is not a viable option. I mean it is totally unacceptable to even consider throwing away the Gok Wan mask acquired back in second year, because that was the night that you discovered Sinners had an upstairs!

The actual achievement of a degree has been positively overshadowed by the life long friendships secured, the unpredicted experiences and just how impressive it is to attend more than one 9am lecture per semester. Which in turn, makes the tassle on the graduation cap totally worth the hassle of finding out just what it is really like to live in the library!

So, with no more work or assignments and a two week stint left in Newcastle, let’s raise a glass to engaging only in conversations which consist of ‘I will miss you, did I mention that I would miss you, no seriously I will miss you’!